MONDAY. 11:00 AM. World AIDS Day.

TUESDAY. 11:00 AM. Happy birthday to Ryan!

TUESDAY. 11:00 AM. Happy birthday to Dana and John! They're twins! They've finally made it to the legal drinking age. God, I feel old.

THURSDAY. 7:39 PM. Today was the last day of the semester for me and my students. They turned in their final papers. The last day of classes is always bittersweet. I'm glad to be on break (once I finish all of my grading that is). But I'm also sad to see my students go. But I wish them the best of luck.

I sent them off into the sunset with the following message:

End of the Semester Greetings folks, I just wanted to leave everyone with a short message to say thanks, to say good luck, and to say till we meet again. It's been a fascinating, fun, interesting, intriguing, challenging, and catalyzing semester for me. I really had a difficult time trying to re-adjust to moving back to Maryland after living for so long in San Francisco. But teaching really helped me find a place to land, a place to ground myself, and a place to really re-discover that I have talent, I have purpose, and I have something to give to my community. I wasn't kidding or lying when I said to you today that I have learned as much from you as I hope you have learned from me. Each and every one of you has become a part of my life, my history, my memory, and your words, your actions, your thoughts, your very presence has changed me just as I have changed you, just as your classmates have changed you. Believe or not, a split second experience can change you forever. Hopefully, the past three months have changed you for the better. I am a strong, strong advocate for people, particularly students, to be their own advocates. You have a voice. You have a mind. You have a heart. You have a spirit. And those can be tools to help yourselves, your community, your family, your workplace, your university, and your nation. Realize that you can affect your environment. You can build coalitions. You can reach out and take the hand of someone else. You can lift yourself, push yourself, and cheer yourself to evolve. Demand the best for yourself--whether it be a class, a relationship, a job, or fun and games. No one is responsible for you except for you. Make sure you husband yourself, you protect yourself, and you celebrate yourself each and every day. Good luck over break. Good luck next semester. And good luck in all of the things that you'll do over the many many years to come. I hope that you walked away from English 101, from your writing, from your reading, from your research, and from our friendship (limited as it has been) with something to cherish, to invest into your life. "Much fear of our own creativity is the fear of the unknown." --Julia Cameron, The Artist's Way Don't be afraid. It's time to be brave. It's time to be sure in yourself. It's time to embrace the unknown and create. With respect, Ed Chang

SATURDAY. 11:00 AM. Happy birthday to my sister, Alenda! Happy Winter Solstice, too!

MONDAY. 11:12 AM. The days are just flying by. I suppose I should really write something. I just haven't been of the mind to sit down and writing. My poor pen-and-paper journal has been pretty empty as of late. I guess maybe that's a good thing. I'm participating in my life. Or maybe I'm just lazy and distracted. Yep, that's probably it.

Bulleted list approaching:

• My NaNoWriMo novel is done. A few people have been asking to see it. I'm really not sure it's a readable project. But I'm going to clean it up a little and make chapbooks or something for my loyal fans. On December 6th, I went to the Thank God It's Over! party for the DC metro area NaNos. It was held in a spacious three bedroom apartment in Northeast DC; the home of Nicole and Dana. It was a brilliant space. It was a nice way to end National Novel Writing Month. There was much food and drink and relieved faces and mulled wine. I made the nametags in the style of the San Francisco NaNo parties. Pictures follow.

• I'm done with teaching at least till next semester starts. My grades are turned in. I have a couple of straggling and struggling students who are trying to recoup their final grades. But I'm pretty much done until late January of next year. I currently have been hired on for two sections. I was originally going to teach another 101X (ESL) section, but it was cancelled due to low enrollment. They have given me a replacement section of 101S (for College Park Scholars). I'm still hoping for a third section.

• Two weekends past, on Friday the 13th, I went up to Fell's Point in Baltimore to celebrate my friend Dana's birthday (as well as a multitude of December birthdays). We went to the The Horse You Came In On Saloon for drinks. It was a lot of fun. I didn't have to drive. So I got to party. There was a live band playing called Archaic Smile. The band was pretty good. They played a bunch of 80s covers. There was fun to be had. I forget how much I really enjoy live music.

• On Saturday the 14th, I went to my friend Nancy's (and her roommate Emily's) holiday/housewarming party at their little two-bedroom apartment in Adams Morgan. It was a fun night. More food. A whole lot of wine.

• Last week, I saw the Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers on opening day. I saw it twice, actually. Once at midnight of the 18th. And once in the evening of the 18th. Yeah, I'm a die hard. It was fun and entertaining. There were definitely choices made that I completely understand from a budget, unique narrative, time-saving, Hollywood, lowest-common-denominator-audience point of view. I wouldn't have made some of them. But I really try to give storytellers the benefit of the doubt as much as possible. A more extensive review will come eventually.

• I have been trying to get my live-action role-playing game Archaea off the ground. We've had four events since the launch of the 5th Edition campaign at the start of November. Our numbers have been pretty low. But there is still interest mainly from younger, newer players. As long as they maintain enthusiasm and try to expand the group, we should be able to keep the adventuring going. There are some new pictures from this current group.

• I have been watching entirely too much Dr. Phil and Trading Spaces. Of course, Buffy has me glued to the television and this season is shaping up to be quite exciting (and alarming).

• This past Saturday was Alenda's birthday. I went to her apartment (a whole two floors up) for a potluck. It was a pleasant evening of entirely too much food. She made some very tasty, spicy samosas. I am going to have to get the recipe. My father was even there. I rarely get a chance to see my father interact with a younger crowd particularly when it's with my friends or my sister's friends. He's very social when he wants to be. I guess I might get that from him. It was really good and satisfying to have my father there to celebrate my sister's birthday. We haven't done much as a family and it's time we started reconnecting our lives. (Alas, my stepmother's father passed away last week and she is in Taiwan. I am sorry for her loss, but at the same time, it is a blessing in a way. My father is given the opportunity to be in my sister and my life without threat of jealousy, drama, or anger.)

• Last night, I went to the third FEINT, an alternative/indie/whatever music lounge night held at the Staccato bar in Adams Morgan. My friend Dana even came out with me. I ran into a few people I knew from the University of Maryland. It was a really chill, relaxing, intriguing night. Dana worked her female charms and was totally hit on by another woman. It was a little surprising and funny at the same time. I ran into a guy named Kyle, who I had met a few months back at the Titan bar. I'm glad I promised myself to go out even on a Sunday evening. Hell, I didn't have to work the next day. But I did have to drive home. I'm really starting to shake an angry fist at living in the suburbs.

• I am working on graduate school applications again. I just need to write my statement of purpose and then I can mail out the apps to San Francisco State University and University of Maryland at College Park. I'm only trying for two programs this year and I'm trying for MA programs instead of MFA programs. I just didn't have the time to work on my portfolio this year. If push comes to shove, I can try to switch from an MA to an MFA once I'm in a program. I have to get this process done before my dratted GRE scores expire in five years.

TUESDAY. 12:02 PM. The Christmas holiday has never really held much reverent meaning for me though I do enjoy the occasional carol, the attempt by people to be kind and peaceful and humane, and the lights are pretty. For some reason, this year, I am oddly aware how monotheistic (in the most general sense) America is even though there are multiple, multiple traditions that are celebrated during the winter, the solstice, the end of the year.

Anyway, it's just food for thought, I guess.

TUESDAY. 7:25 AM. The sun is barely up and for some reason I woke up at 7 AM nearly on the dot. I woke up close to 7 AM a few days ago. This time I decided to just get up since my body decided to bother with waking up. I think it's a memory of when I usually get up to go teach. I've only been out of classes for about two weeks and I think my brain and body miss the routine.

It feels good to get up early and get some things done. I have been pretty lazy about waking up lately. I have never been one to "sleep in" unless I've been up late partying or reading or something. So, I guess on the eve of the new year, I feel like I should get back to better habits.

I finished my graduate school applications last night. It was good to get them done. Now, the envelopes are all stamped and addressed. I'm going to go drop them off at the post office when the sun finishes coming up. Hopefully, I'll have better luck and better results this year.

I cannot believe the year is finished. Time just goes by so fast. But I guess this past year has been pretty chock full and it's good that some of the changes, some of the challenges, and some of the revelations are passing out of sight. I am ready to see what the new year has in store and I am ready for a year of bounty, a year of discovery, a year of security, a year of hope.

Most of all, I think, I want to be happy again. It's not that I'm unhappy exactly. I guess the feeling is better described as discontent, which makes me a malcontent. I hope to alter my perceptions, my expectations, and my behaviors to change that label.

If the music you listen to is any measure of what's going on in your head, then try to figure out the leitmotif between the following three songs:

"I'm With You" by Avril Lavigne

Isn't anyone trying to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home?

It's a damn cold night
trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I...
I'm with you
I'm with you

I'm looking for a place
I'm searching for a face
Is anybody here I know?
Cause nothings going right
And everthing's a mess
And no one likes to be alone

"Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera

Everyday is so wonderful,
then suddenly, it's hard to breathe
Now and then I get insecure,
from all the pain, I'm so ashamed

I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes words can't bring me down
So don't you bring me down today

To all your friends you're delirious
So consumed, in all your doom
Trying hard to fill the emptiness,
the pieces gone, left the puzzle undone,
is that the way it is?

You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring you down, no, no
Cause you are beautiful in every single way
Yes words can't bring you down, oh, no
So don't you bring me down today

"We've Only Just Begun" by The Carpenters

We’ve only just begun to live
White lace and promises
A kiss for luck and we’re on our way
We’ve only just begun

Before the rising sun, we fly
So many roads to choose
We start out walking and learn to run
Yes, we’ve just begun

Sharing horizons that are new to us
Watching the signs along the way
Talking it over just the two of us
Working together day to day, together
And when the evening comes we smile
So much of life ahead
We’ll find a place where there’s room to grow
And yes, we’ve just begun

Interesting, huh? If you want to leave a comment, please write a message on my sorely ignored message board. I hope everyone has a Happy New Year!