The following online journal entries are from February 2002.
TUESDAY. 9:36 AM. Only three weeks till I am packed up and out of my apartment. My friend Dustin has officially decided that he wants to take the trip across the country with me. So, he will also be packing up and getting his car ready for the long haul. We haven't settled on a solid departure date yet but it will be sometime in the last week of February.
I am nervous. Most of my time is spent trying to keep myself busy and entertained. Otherwise, I'll just obsess about leaving. I am sad, too. It's going to be hard to pack up my life and be homeless for a few months. And I really am going to miss San Francisco. There will definitely be grief and separation anxiety.
But at the same time, I know this is a good move for me (echoed by the fact that I simply cannot afford to stay in the City). I look forward to the shedding of some of my material things. It's a good transformation and just in time for Chinese New Year and the coming of spring.
I'm not going to start packing till next week. I also have to make arrangements for selling my furniture and for some thrift store to come pick up whatever is left over. I own way too much paper -- mostly books and files. Fortunately, book rate is very inexpensive; I just have to box everything up nice and safe.
I'm looking forward to the trip. I'm looking forward to seeing some friends that I haven't seen in a long time. I'm looking forward to a change in scenery and a change in pace. I'm looking forward to holding myself as I am today to who I was when I first left Maryland. It will be a telling litmus test.
Until I leave, I'm going to try to soak in as much of San Francisco as I can. Though I can already feel the push-pull of my heart and mind trying to detach myself from this place. I have to fight just letting go completely. Part of me just wants to pack up and take off quietly, privately. But I know the transition will be better if I take some time to enjoy the City now.
FRIDAY. 10:16 AM. The days tick by. I have been keeping busy, mostly. I finished a freelance project for a friend and former coworker of mine Miriam. I did the layout design for her personal comic book. You can see some of her nonprofit-themed comics at Planet 501(c)3.
The SFMOMA on Tuesday was pretty neat. I just don't have an eye for really high-concept modern art. But I found at least a few pieces that struck me, that evoked some response in me. I particularly liked the piece by Joan Miró.
Not much else is going on. I'm working on content for Dustin's website called Depth of Zot, which is still under construction. He and I have been hanging out a lot and making each other dinner (that's what too much Food Network gets you). I've been visiting the Mission Creek Cafe a lot and just bought a used copy of Dune from Borderland Books, perhaps my favorite bookstore (Valencia and 20th) that sells only science fiction, fantasy, and horror books.
Here are some photos from a few weeks ago when I trundled to the East Bay to my friend Dave's housewarming party. It was a very strange mix of people (twenty-something Christian chic espousing worship and fellowship mixed with freaky San Franciscan dyed-haired, tattooed, queer-friendlies). Note: Ed got his boot licked by a straight boy, who later denies the whole thing blaming it on alcohol. The story of my life...hah!
(Pictures from Corey's going away bash at POW still pending. So stop bugging me about them!)
MONDAY. 10:46 AM. It's Chinese New Year's Eve! Tomorrow starts a new year! The Year of the Horse! Feast! Have fun! Celebrate the new year! I wish everyone happiness, good fortune, and best wishes for the coming year!
I'm hoping to have a big update up later today or tomorrow. Look for it!
TUESDAY. 10:30 AM. Happy Chinese New Year to everyone! Happy Year of the Horse!
THURSDAY. 12:41 PM. Happy Valentine's Day! (Though I'm really not into the whole hearts and candy and general consumerist kookiness...but I don't mind using the opportunity to wish friends and family love and happiness.)
I have spent the last few days in an ephedrin-induced haze. My allergies decided to go wonky on Monday and I've been sniffling, sneezing, and being post-nasal drip boy. I haven't been able to concentrate on anything lately. I've stopped taking the antihistamines and my allergies are fading. I can finally get back to functioning normally.
I just sent out perhaps the last email update of my time here in San Francisco. It will be put up online soon. But I guess the denouement has begun. I have started collecting boxes. Soon I will be rooting through my things and decide what will go, what will stay, what will be irrevocably sent to oblivion. Soon I will be all packed up and on the road.
More to come. Stay tuned.
© 2002 Edmond Y. Chang. All original material. All rights reserved.
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