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The following online journal entries are from November 2001. |
TUESDAY. 7:19 AM. I felt compelled today to add an entry early in the morning. I woke up about ten minutes before my alarm today. I woke up thinking about Nick, my first boyfriend way back in 1996. I think I was dreaming about him -- just re-imagining him -- and it gave me a sort of sad comfort. I miss him to this day. I try to have few regrets in life, but I must say that I wish we had had more time, more opportunity. It was a long-distance relationship. But he was my first and I love the memory of him. I guess I'm just thinking about myself, my loneliness, my want for love again. But I try to remind myself that nature is inherently redundant with many, many paths to love. But for right now, it suffices that I miss my first sweetheart.
"For a while the hobbits continued to talk and think of the past journey
and of the perils that lay ahead; but such was the virtue of the land of
Rivendell that soon all fears and anxiety was lifted from their minds. The
future, good or ill, was not forgotten, but ceased to have any power over
the present. Health and hope grew strong in them and they were content
with each good day as it came, taking pleasure in every meal, and in every
word and song."
THURSDAY. 8:26 AM. May everyone have a good Thanksgiving day! And may we all not forget that every day can be a day of thanks. I am thankful for: -- my health, my spikey hair, my dreams -- my family and my cat Mojo -- my friends near and far, I wish those that were near grow nearer and those that are far stay close -- National Novel Writing Month for kicking my ass, for getting me writing every day, and for bringing me in contact with new friends -- Tellings and my gaming group (new and old) -- POW and everyone at POW and Corey specials -- my rapidly waning temp job and all the great people I've met there -- my teachers -- nice taxi drivers and Muni drivers -- a quiet and peaceful apartment when I want to think, write, or sleep -- hobbits and wizards and elves and all good stories, good movies, and good TV -- new tattoos -- ice cream sandwiches
FRIDAY. 10:39 AM. Post-Turkey Day. I actually woke up and was hungry. Of course since we ate around 4 PM yesterday, it had been over twelve hours since I had anything to eat. So I ate a little breakfast and feel full now. I guess my stomach is still recovering from the veritable feast at Rob and Murphy's. Thanks to Rob and Murphy, to Kathy and Rebecca, to everyone there. It was a merry evening and I certainly felt like I was a hobbit at a proper dinner. It was very tasty. Today, I need to summon up some energy to do a little writing on my novel. Maybe I should find some time to work on my grad school applications as well. Or maybe I'll just take a long nap.
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TUESDAY. 4:49 PM. With little fanfare or to do, I proudly and humbly announce that I have crossed 50,000 words! I have stepped across that finish line. I am very happy with myself. The finish is a little bittersweet because I have accomplished the required 50,000 words but my story is still not finished. I'm looking at a longer book, maybe 100,000 words. So, I'm going to keep on writing until the whole plot exhausts itself. Then, I'll go back and edit, edit, edit. But, hooray for me! Now I hope my friends who are writing finish soon, too! I know I'm going to have post-nanowrimo depression... PND! Now if you asked me if I have finished my measly 500 word statement of purpose for graduate school... I'll say, "Um, no. I hate the thing. I want it to die, die, die!"
THURSDAY. 6:45 PM. Yawn. I am very tired right now and a little bit queasy. The last two days have been serious stomach-flipping, acid-churning days. But gratefully they are over. Yesterday, after work, I decided that I was going to finish my statement of purpose come hell or high water. I devised an ingenious plan. First, I would head to the nearby coffee house (which is undergoing some radical transformation -- painting, new decor, new marble counter-tops, and new name that has yet to be marked anywhere) and drink several tall caffeinated beverages until I wrote the statement in a burst of stimulant-induced industry. If the uppers didn't work, I would opt for Plan B -- a stiff drink or two to grease the wheels. Fortunately, Plan A worked. I had a mocha and two house coffees and five paragraphs of wonder sprang forth from my brow like Athena Parthenos. I proceeded with Plan B anyway. I figured I could use the help coming down from all the caffeine and to help me relax before the dreaded GREs. It didn't quite work. I didn't sleep very well. I kept dreaming about analytical problems where scientists named A, B, C, D, X, Y, and Z needed to form teams to study over three days. I woke up tired, slightly hungover, and basically a big mess. But, after a short stint at work doing practice problems and testing QA stuff, I took the test. It was grueling. Almost three hours. Four sections -- three of which are counted, one of which is a test/research section. But you don't know which is which during the test. I was unlucky enough to get two Analytical sections. Ugh. I'm done now. My scores are moderately good -- good enough to get me into my programs. And I never ever want to do that again.
FRIDAY. 5:30 PM. Congratulations to Dustin, who finished his NaNoWriMo 50,000 words! My applications are done and mailed. Enough said. Time to celebrate a very long, very full, very stressful, very emotionally, mentally, intellectually, physically, and artistically challenging week. Now, there has to be a little fun, a little clean up of the wreckage that is my desk, and a return to a little bit of normalcy (and some of the other projects I've left to the wayside during the tumult of November). |
journal
© 2001 Edmond Y. Chang. All original material. All rights reserved.
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