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The following online journal entries are from April 1999. They are taken from older version of my website. |
Friday. 11:08 PM. I have been so busy with all of my doom and gloom that I completely forgot to celebrate the 3rd month anniversary of my arrival in San Francisco. Three whole months. I'm still here.
Tuesday. 12:58 PM. A new week in San Francisco. The past weekend was good for me. I spent most of it just doing quiet, enjoyable things. I put off the "survival" needs to this week. I didn't think about getting a job. I didn't worry about what I needed to do. I just spent time in the apartment, hanging out with Sarah, walking around the city, and having a calm couple of days. I do have a lot of anxiety over different parts of my life. Yesterday, I got back on the horse and worked on getting a job. I spent a good part of the day revising my résumé. I needed to get it down to only one page. Personally, I don't like one-pagers. I like having the opportunity to express myself and my abilities. But, I have to play the game. So, I cut and trimmed and slimmed it down. I applied to three temp and staffing agencies. I looked them up in the Lavender Pages -- a phone book for LGBTA friendly companies. I applied to companies that were community friendly. I hope to hear from them this week. I think my cover letter explained what I wanted and my resume speaks for itself. Other than that, I'm still keeping myself busy and keeping myself out of too much trouble. I had some major trauma with my computer yesterday and today. I was dropped from the gateway.net internet service provider (ISP). So, I spent the day trying to fix it. Unfortunately, an error on their part, fucked everything up. And it would take days before their re-registration software got to me. So, I just improvised. I set up a secondary screen name through my father's AOL account so I could get back online. I decided that I was really disappointed in gateway.net's performance. Their customer service is still very good. But their documentation and general helpfulness just didn't measure up. I decided to go with a different ISP. I switched my long distance carrier to Working Assets a few weeks ago. Working Assets is a company that donates part of their profits to charity and social causes. They are a supporter of a several LGBTA organizations. And since their rates are competative, I decided to go with a more socially conscious company. They offer internet service as well through EarthLink, a Sprint subsidiary. So, now, I'm with both Working Assets and EarthLink and 1% of the money I spend on both companies will go to charity. You can find Working Assets in my links page. Well, wish me luck on the job search. I really want to find a great job. I want to be happy at what I do. I'll write more later. |
Tuesday. 4:20 PM. It's been a week since I've last written. The past week was relatively uneventful. I am still in the midst of trying to secure gainful employment. In the meantime, I'm trying to keep busy so that I don't think about the stresses in my life. Of all the things that you can spend your mental and emotional energy worrying about, I think worrying about money is the least productive and the most frustrating. I am trying. And maybe I need to try even harder. But I feel like I'm trying to fit a square peg through a circular hole sometimes. Forcing the issue and forcing the moment never works out for me. I try to lead a bit more grace filled life. I try to let what needs to happen happen. By no means does that mean I walk through life in a state of passivity. But I know that my life will manifest what I need and want. Sometimes it just takes longer for the right moment to come along. I had a very quiet weekend. Sarah was out of town visiting her girlfriend in St. Louis. So, I was alone in the apartment for three days. It was a bit strange and a little bit lonely knowing that there wasn't going to be anyone around to eat dinner with or go the corner doughnut shop with. But, I kept entertained. On Friday night, I went to Espresso Bravo to hear Mo and his friends DJ. Since the coffee house crowd is the closest thing I have to a circle of friends, I wanted to show my support. I even helped Mo by making some flyers for him. I spent a few hours at the cafe. A lot of the people I had met before showed up. I talked to a new woman (though new only to me because she'd worked at Bravo before) named Yvonne, who is from Australia. She stopped back in SF to work and make some money before going home to Australia in two weeks. I told her she was the second person that I liked and made friends with who is up and leaving the area for good. The DJs were pretty good. The first DJ played reggae. Mo played a little music -- a mix of jazz and this and that. The third DJ played techno and was very good. I also saw Tobie and Marcy and a few other Bravo people. I stayed until about eleven. Then the DJs had technical difficulties. So, I went home. Saturday night, I met up with a woman named Kimberly, whom I met online through ParaDox. She lives in Sunnyvale. So, drove up to the city and we met at The Cafe in the Castro. It was cool. She knows Wilson, who I also met through ParaDox. We hung out and danced. Wilson and his boyfriend showed up, too. We stayed until it got totally crowded. Then we had a late night meal at the Baghdad Cafe. After I got home, our downstairs neighbors were having a party. It was loud and there were people everywhere. It was very hard to sleep with people laughing and screaming right underneath you or outside your window. Finally, about 3:30 am, everyone went home and it got quiet. Crazy. Other than that, I'm currently obsessed with an online graphical MUD called EverQuest. It's a lot of fun. A bit hard at the start but once you get settled, it takes up hours of time. I play a lot now. I've gotten friends from back home to start playing to. We can meet up online and hang out and adventure together. Anyway. I certainly hope my life establishes itself a bit more soon. Till next time. Cheers. |
journal
© 2001 Edmond Y. Chang. All original material. All rights reserved.
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